So I haven't done a Five-Minute Friday post for a few weeks. Yes, I've been doing lots of things as summer draws to a close. But honestly, one of the FMF prompts a couple weeks ago stopped me cold: Belong. There's no way I can do a five-minute post on that one word. It's loaded. Here's why:
Am I the only one who feels like I don't belong much of the time?
Let me give you some examples of what I mean:
The teachers I work with are great, but they've all established quite the working relationship that it's hard for me to "break into" since I've only been there two years so far. I feel like I don't belong.
The church my husband belongs to is an incredible church. They've welcomed me, they reach out to me, they include me in many activities, but when it comes down to it, I don't belong.
For many years, my friends and neighbors have gotten married and created their own family units. When they talk of their kids, when they have endless activities and are so very busy keeping up with their wonderful families, I don't belong.
I used to be a relatively decent runner. Sidelined by my broken foot a couple years ago, and just due to my own laziness, I'm not much of a runner anymore. But I'm working to get back to that point where I can talk running strategies with others. But for now? I don't belong.
I can go on and on and on.....I don't belong with ladies who do incredible needlework and amazing quilts. (Sure, I do OK, but compared to some.......sheesh!) :) I don't belong with people who are great cooks. (Sure, Dave and I aren't starving, but.....you get it.) I want to have a blog that makes a difference, that helps others know God's love. Do I belong with the ladies I see at that level? Not at this point.
I know insecurities can find us wherever we are, at whatever stage of life we find ourselves. I can wallow in those insecurities - and sometimes do! - but I know this is not where I am meant to be.
So, this is where life gets interesting.
I know I have two definite "belongings" in my life: with my husband, and with Christ. And I don't feel I can talk about one without the other. Dave brings Christ to my life every day -- he shows me God's mercy through the forgiveness he offers me, he brings me Christ's love in countless beautiful ways, he offers me reassurance through Christ that I DO belong. I am every day, and forever grateful to our almighty, loving God who brought Dave and I together.
I belong with him. And I belong with Him.